Only when you are a kid can you get away with these things. It somehow becomes unacceptable as you age. Here is the list I have come up with. There are many, many more things that loose their charm as you age but these are the ones freshest in my mind.
Repeating yourself 1,000 times in an hour.
I swear I answer the same question over and over all day long. I read somewhere the average 5 year old asks about 450 questions a day. I think whoever counted that gave up by noon. All day long there is a constant stream of questions, many repeated over and over and over. My personal favorite is when is lunch. The clock does not lie, James is learning to tell time. He has it down that when both hands are on or near the 12, it is time to eat. At 2:30, rest time is over and that when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 6, Dad comes home from work. The other day he asked me 6 times (yes, I counted) before 11:00 if it was lunch time. When I asked if he was hungry, "Nope, I just wanted to know."
Picking your nose.
Or more specifically picking your nose, showing it off, wiping it on your shirt or someone else and then telling everyone about it in great detail (a very critical part of the small humans development).
Being brutally honest
James told me he didn't like dinner the other night - it was not what he wanted to eat, it was too crunchy, didn't taste good and he wanted something else. Scott may have had the same thought, but quietly ate a little bit, cleaned up his place at the table and made a sandwich. James is still talking about my burning the dinner...last week.
Playing naked in the yard
My kids will be nudists if I let them. They love to play outside and inside naked. It doesn't matter if it is 40 degrees outside or 85. It makes for less laundry, but a dirtier tub. For some reason no matter how cold it is, how muddy it is or how hot it is the key to utter happiness is running around naked. It can instantly fix any owie, bad mood or rainy day. Asking them to get dressed is like trying to get them to do the impossible.
Nap time
Lets just say, it is the most underrated part of the day. If only we all could take a nap half way through the day. We would wake up energized and ready to take on the world. Instead, we work like crazy while the small humans are recharging their batteries. They then wake up ready to destroy whatever small hold on a clean house we had accomplished while they were quietly resting. We live on caffeine so that we can keep up with them.
Turning a 10 min. project into a 3 day one
What should take a little bit of time always takes 60,000 times as long with children. There may be a small exaggeration in there, but have you ever tried to vacuum when you have two little helpers? The toys magically jump back out of the toy bins, right into the path of the vacuum making you stop what you are doing to pick them up. Then, there is always some sort of crash, followed by "I'm OK mom!" or frantic whispering and the unlucky scout sent out to distract mom and dad while the other tries to make it look like they didn't do it.
Wearing your underwear backwards or recycling them for several days in a row
I will never understand just why they put pictures on the BACK of kid's underwear, but everyone who knows anything knows that the picture goes on the front. No matter how uncomfortable it is. James still has not mastered the fact that some of his briefs are much more comfortable if you wear them the right way. Print boxers work better. Madilyn has the same trouble too.
It is also much easier to put your underwear under your bed, in your bed, in the drawer or with you toys so that you can find them again tomorrow, or next week sometime and reuse them. Somehow the room smells like a locker room. Laundry baskets are highly overrated.
Imaginary friends
When I talk to my friends and no one else can see them, people look at me funny. They wonder if I am "special" and they tend to cross to the other side of the street. James has a fireman who lives with us sometimes. To the point that we have to set a plate for him, and be careful not to step on him in the living room. I wonder what Scott would do if I told him my imaginary friend was sitting in his chair tonight, so he had to go find another spot to sit...
Sometimes I think the imaginary friends are the best, they don't eat, don't fight too much and if they forget to take off their boots I don't know it because they do not leave muddy footprints.
Pooping/farting/peeing in public and talking about it in great detail.
This morning my daughter had to go to the bathroom. She didn't want to walk the 50' to the house so she loudly demanded to pee in the driveway. While the neighbors drove by, Papa, brother, dad and I watched. Then she told us all that she went potty in the driveway. An hour later, she told the checker at the grocery she went potty in the driveway. Fortunately the checker is not fluent in Madilyn. We were still discussing the merits of using the driveway over a toilet at lunch.
At Taekwondo the other day one of the girls in the class had the farts. She proceeded to let wind with every stretch and then quite loudly let us know that it was her fart. It was funny. Especially since it was not my child. Somehow I do not think it would have been quite so laughable if it were an adult.
Poop humor
It is cute when you are 5, not when you are 45. Especially at the dinner table. Enough said.