Letting go

I learned the hardest lesson of all so far on the journey of motherhood. I had to learn to let James do things himself. For years I have worked towards not holding his hand and not feeling the need to hover nearby so that I can help him up.  I still was not ready for that day.
Today he told me "It's OK Mom. You taught me to be safe and do this. I can go by myself." I watched him walk out to the farthest field with a tractor nearby, horses and vehicles everywhere and work as one with the adults on the fences. He was very safe about the whole thing and actually did fix the fence correctly. Watching him walk away was the hardest.  How come no one was around to hold my hand while he was walking away as an independent young man.


Somehow I don't think this is the last time he will walk away from me. I just hope he remembers to come back to hold my hand once in a while.